Dirty Ugly Toy - K. Webster

Welcome to the side of me you didn't know existed. After much thought, and a lot of reading, I (Carlene) decided to branch out with this secondary blog. You see, I like dark adult fiction with a side of erotica. I've been reviewing erotic novels on my Goodreads account for quite some time, but they needed a home. A place where I could post photos, share quotes, more personal thoughts, and get involved in the wonderful world of book tours with erotic novels. It'll probably take some time to get off its feet, but I am excited about this new adventure and I am even more excited about this very first review. 5 Star reviews don't come easy from me, especially for dark erotica, but Dirty Ugly Toy by K. Webster deserves it.

Rating: 5 Stars
Published: January 18, 2016
Genre: Adult Fiction, Erotica, Dark, Romance, Suspense

Amazon Goodreads

Braxton is done with number 19, he's said goodbye to that toy, and now it's time to find number 20 and she has to be special. His toys aren't the ones you're thinking of though, no, he finds these toys in London back alleys, high on drugs, willing to do anything for their next hit. When he sees her strawberry blonde hair, he knows she's next. For 6 months, Bunny will be his toy to play with, to break, to ruin.

Bunny will do anything to score her next high, anything to take away the pain of her past and the memories than haunt her. When offered a pile of money to submit to Braxton Kennedy, Bunny can't say no, but she doesn't even know what she's getting into. She's difficult, she's different, and she's going to play every game Braxton plays. That is, until the game becomes so much more and Braxton finds himself enjoying Jessica, the woman he once only wanted as Bunny, his toy.

Dirty Ugly Toy is a novel that blurs the lines of right and wrong, deals with abuse, contains dubious consent, and adult subject matter. If you are sensitive to violent sexual situations, the book may not be suitable for you. Some parts of this book are not easy to read and are not intended for everyone. However, those that keep an open mind and stick with it will not be disappointed.

"I want a new toy. One that I can restore. An ugly thing turned pristine and shiny."

Dirty Ugly Toy takes you straight out of your comfort zone and into a world of complete unknowns. Nothing is what it seems, it's incredibly unpredictable, and at times really uncomfortable. However, if you give this book a chance and go into it with your eyes open and no expectations, you'll find yourself in love with two characters and immersed in emotions. I'll admit, I'd heard about this book several months ago, but because I had no experience with the author and no friends suggesting it I didn't pick it up. Then came the reviews. When every single one of my friends is rating a book with an extremely eye-catching and terrifying synopsis with 4-5 stars, I know I have to buy it too. Not only did I start this book and think what the hell am I reading, but I immediately developed feelings for the characters. Immediately. It didn't matter that everything in the first 6 chapters should make you run for the hills, because these two young characters are not only good looking, but they are filled to the brim with secrets and a story you just want to know.

"He can whip my ass all he wants but forcing me to face the broken parts of my soul is cruel and evil.
I might now be considered his toy, buy when my mind fully returns to its twisted capacity I'm going to toy with his whole goddamned life."

This book is told in dual POV, with past memories and dreams mixed in. I absolutely love how the POVs were handled, both characters felt distinctly different and the glimpses into their past lives led so much to the understanding of the history and how they worked as a couple. The characters aren't fairy tale characters, they're gritty, they've lived through some ugly things, and continue to inflict ugly onto others. However, there is some vulnerability in both Brax and Jessica (Bunny) that make this story oh so worth it. For every page turn that I was shocked and disgusted, I was also falling in love and feeling all the emotions of the characters. K. Webster can write.

I really liked Jessica, we know she has an ugly past she's running from and she's running straight into the next ugly that can help her avoid her past, drugs. Signing a contract with Brax seems like nothing, but she has no idea just how ugly he can be too. She had a lot of wit, constantly surprised me, and made this story so much better because she knew the game Brax was playing. Brax is probably someone I shouldn't like, because he likes some horrible things, but he had so much love hidden inside him. His hunt for a toy that he wants to break down into submission has so much more to it that one doesn't even realize. Reading their relationship, and their slow self discoveries, absolutely made this book so beautiful. There are scenes that make you cringe, yes, but mix that horror in with some love and it balances out just right. The sex scenes are both awful and really darn hot, in this case you can't have one without the other, but those scenes bring out the most knowledge about the two main characters. The secrets between both of them with absolutely rock your world, but if they don't make you have sympathy and understanding for these characters I don't know what else would. Their sadomasochist BDSM relationship isn't convenient, but the way it works for both of them just makes sense. It's just a part of their relationship that leads to all the other good parts, like the talking, the developing feelings, and even the very end when 6 months are up and the toy is said goodbye to.

"Nineteen toys. Nineteen locks of hair. Nineteen times I’d indulged in my greatest fantasies.
I believe the twentieth one will be extra special.
And I can’t wait to make her mine.
At least for a little while . . . "

All that said, yes this book is ugly, it is horrifying, there is abuse, and you will wonder why you're liking it so much. I know that sounds strange, but it is absolutely worth it. You'll find the characters switching roles, the challenging moments very rewarding, and the filthy sex dangerously crossing your moral line when you find yourself liking it. The story line flows perfectly, there are no loose ends, and it's lengthy enough that it'll take you some time to read. If you're looking for some really gritty ugliness and dark sexiness, and that warning doesn't scare you away, then pick this book up it won't disappoint. Seriously, I'm gonna go read it again right now.